When You Lose Your Place
We all come into this world trying to find our place. This is the reason it’s so crucial for a baby to develop early attachments with a parent or a caretaker. Every person longs for a sense of belonging. To say it differently, we all want to know we have a place.
I recently experienced something that was hard for me to articulate for a couple of months. I felt it way before I could explain it. As I was thinking and praying one morning, I had clarity for what I had been processing. I realized that I was subconsciously carrying around two questions:
Do I have a place here?
If so, what is my place here?
Did those questions just come up out of nowhere? Not exactly. The truth is that some of my places are changing and I’ve found this reality to be disorienting for me.
When Your Place Changes at Home
I am still a father to my 4 kids, but we are in a parenting season I’ve never experienced before. My oldest child is in his second year of university and lives quite far from us. My second oldest is a high school senior this year and I’m aware that he will be living away from home in just a few months. Our youngest two have two years left of high school, which means we are close to having all adult children. I’m still their father, but they don’t need me as much as they once did…or at least not in the same ways they once did.
Has your place changed in any of your closest relationships?
When Your Place Changes at Work
As our church continues to grow, my place is changing here too. I no longer know all the people I used to know. I no longer know all of the details I used to know. The best way for me to serve the church I lead is to restrict myself to the highest contributions I can make for our church in this season. I know this is right, but I still miss the place I used to have here.
Has your place changed in your same company or perhaps because of a new job with a different company?
What to do When Your Place Changes
GRIEVE: I think it’s important to grieve whatever place you’ve lost from a previous season. Without proper grief, it will be difficult to fully embrace wherever the new place is that you’re stepping into.
CELEBRATE WHAT HASN’T CHANGED: Because some major things were changing, I started assuming my place had changed everywhere. I wondered about my place with God, my place in my marriage, and my place in certain friendships. The truth is that a lot can change in our lives and it still doesn’t mean we’ve lost our place everywhere.
BRING YOUR FULL SELF INTO YOUR NEW PLACE: It’s okay for me to miss earlier stages of life for our family, but I don’t want to miss out on fully engaging the current place I have in this family. There are new things to learn, a new season to embrace, and I’m here for it.
You still have a place, even if it’s a different one. When your place changes (and it will for all of us), know you can still have a sense of belonging - it might just happen in a different place than the one you’re most used to.
