Truth and Our Feelings
Have you ever been completely convinced that something was absolutely true, only to find out it wasn’t true at all? As much as we know we shouldn’t trust our feelings, it can feel impossible to not be led by our feelings. How can we gain clarity on what is true, regardless of how we might feel about it?
I have discovered a 3-step process that has really helped me explore my feelings, but not be dominated by my feelings. Here are the 3 steps:
Something has happened that is true.
It makes me feel that way more is true about this thing.
I can step back and understand what is actually true.
Let’s say that you really have your heart set on getting a new job. Maybe you’ve applied for several opportunities that seem like they’d be a perfect fit. Perhaps you’ve even gone on to receive interviews for a few of these roles. And yet, so far, you haven’t been offered a single job. Let me show you how you might work through the process of the three steps:
You’re right; it is true that you haven’t been offered a job yet.
This truth can lead you to feel like you’ll never be hired to do any job.
The actual truth is that while you haven’t been hired yet, you can be highly confident that you will likely find a job in the near future.
I recently experienced this “truth and feelings” process in my own life. As you know, I’m really excited about my Bring It Out book. One of the things I gave a ton of time and energy to was pursuing endorsers for the book. I had a couple of people in mind that I just knew would be excited to endorse my book. They’re both great friends of mine and have been so helpful to me in the past. But when I asked for the endorsement, they both told me no. Here’s how I walked through this disappointment.
The truth is that these two individuals were not willing to write an endorsement for me.
This truth led me to feel like no one was going to be willing to endorse my book.
The actual truth was even though I didn’t get these two endorsements, many other people will be very willing to endorse my work.
How about you? What has happened that really is true? What has that truth led you to feel is more true than it is? What is the actual truth you can believe about this thing that has happened?
Feelings are great at informing us, but not so great at telling us the whole truth.
